'OMG! Ranbir was looking too hot na', it was the first thing which she said after coming out of the cinema hall. She took the name 'Ranbir' in such a way as if Ranbir Kapoor is nobody but her very close friend or chacha ke saale ka chota bhatija.

'Yeah!', of course I was out of options to argue with her as I knew that countering her words will only lead to - 'Oh! You are jealous', like the superstar will come and ask her for date instead of Katrina Kaif. And by the way, the only way to not create a mountain out of molehills in the conversations with your girlfriend is by supporting her words, no matter how much you disagree with her.

'Wish you were like him. How charming he is!?', OK, that was enough....

Starting from Alam Ara, we have been noticing how the Indian motion pictures have evolved according to the generations and its need for entertainment, understanding social responsibility or even KHANS.

Undoubtedly, Indian cinema is giving us every possible thing which a tired, frustrated or a joyful Indian wants in the weekend. But it (......)

There was a time when actors were quite average looking sophisticated Indians, throwing dialogues from nostrils and don't even know what one should do on a song except roaming around a tree.

Then came the era of handsome actors, good at dance and even singing too. They were baby boomers and good for their generation. At least girls at that time were quite convinced that these superstars are only meant for yet another female superstars. They were like logical fans!

And then came this; a falter. A guy who, on getting under control of emotions, used to stammer a lot. A guy who started doing movies by playing negative roles and became the most romantic and desirable man on earth (as what they, the girls, say). It was a time when Bollywood was into our vein so much that we started living and comparing our lives to that of a character on the 70 mm screen. So gradually he might be not a very romantic person but the image which he got by playing his so called unrealistic role on the screen made him that: The king of Romance.

Parallely, another guy came in; a muscular from filmy background, a 'Prem' image on reel and regular customer of court cases in real. That was what girls were dying for; good at looks but muscular too, no matter if he is running his car over someone. I mean.. A full package of most desirable bad boy. Well, guns and roses!

So unfortunately or fortunately, they (with many like them) became the love of every single woman. They were so much into them that girls started comparing them to their real love; I mean, the one who is paying for the tickets and taking her to the cinema hall so that she can enjoy and compare her favorite hero to her can be-to be-may be-why be-freebie man.

It heightened the scenario when girls started dating to those guys only whose name were either Raj, Rahul or Prem. It was like going into Ramlal ka dhaba and eating his ruthless Wada Pao because he named it Maharaja Burger on the menu. But actually it was never like McD's Maharaja burger, but just the name!

I used to wonder that why the mothers also started naming their new born baby boy as Raj, Rahul or Prem; because somewhere they also digested the 'illogical fact' that their kids' future will come into darkness of celibatarian if they won't name them any of those.

Somewhere we also swallowed the bitter truth that simplicity was no more the trend but the Rahulantic and bhai attitude; filmy pick up lines (which sounds romantic but impossible) and the move. The girls were no more towards sexy dance moves but the 'hatho ko pasarne wala' move. You might get rejected if you don't know how to make that hand moves; Rahulantic moves. You might get rejected if you are not wearing a blue stone bracelet.

The era continued and this one sided competition became tougher and tougher where the on screen heroes were unfairly winning every time. Sometimes Siddharth...sometimes Varun Dhawan or sometimes someone else! Even Hollywood and Daily soap actors too!

'Look at his abs! Damn He is sexy. Why don't you make it?'

Well who will make these girls understand that they spend more than a lakh on their trainers to get inside such a tight shape, which was more than impossible for us. It is a part of their job to look as much good as they can but not people like us for whom what is important is a sharp mind in the office, not abs and an average look. But still the Johnny Bravos tried and trying their best to get inside the shape just to get few more points in the comparison meter.

Besides you cannot talk about Alia's hot legs or Kangana's sexy figure to your girl. Otherwise get ready to face the K.O shot. However, they can! Or you have to convince them issuelessly that you are not jealous from those artificial abs.

Now the question is; there are also some hot and talented actresses in Bollywood to which we could have also compare or dream about getting married or even a relationship or even adore so much that you can kill anyone who will criticize her, like what girls do. They can even leave you or drive you to hell if you'll criticize him (one of the most desirable men) on his last film which was full of nonsensical items but no story. Well yes there are many! But the first thing is we are quite logical fans (won't deny if they have given a baseless film) and secondly, we know that we can't get them even after infinite birth.

Well the comparisons were illogical and somewhere we also knew that no matter how much she will love those charming actors, they will remain stick to us. They are just some crazy fans who just desire to have them but impossible to get them though they never want to digest it.

So what if they don't want to digest it! At the end, we'll win! So let them adore those 'charming' and unrealistically romantic guys, at the very end with the help of those pick up lines, it'll be us who will successfully plot ourselves into their fantasized mind.

And then came this! A headline of apocalypse; Shahid Kapoor married a non celebrity girl studying 3rd year in DU. A very good news for Shahid Kapoor but unfortunately a bad one for us... Yes! For us, not the girls. Yeh! Of course girls hated this news and some even cried to death for losing him as if he committed to all his female fans that he'll either stay with his bachelor-ship or marry all of them. But believe me, it was us who were sad about the news... or won't be wrong if I say... thinking about the future. There was a time when at least we were quite at ease about the thing that no matter what happen, at the end, no celebrity is going to touch our girls. But now with Mr. Shahid, everything is changed now. Now nobody can stop girls in dreaming about marrying these most desirable men. And it might happen that their dream can come true.

Now I am wondering that the competition is never going to end and actually it never going to be in our favor. Now the only option left to us is to treat girls like a celebrity as what we are doing from last many decades because even an ugly girl can get a line of celebrities and non celebs too, but we have to work out without Alia bhatt.

'Baby, I am so lucky that you're with me but not with him. Please don't leave me for Kapoor khandan. I can go for plastic surgery to look charming'.

‘Listen ma’am, you don’t really understand my situation. I have to rush from this city as soon as possible and you are eating my bloody time’, Raghav was at his anxiety level when he came to know from the inquiry that he has to wait for the next 20 hours to catch the next flight to Delhi. Though the department could help him in escaping from the city as soon ass possible, but they were bound by the rules and regulations of the flight management, which says that only in the case of emergency they can give a stretch. Raghav’s case was not an emergency one for the department, but for him, it was. It was a question of his life and death. He somewhere knew or assumed that by next 4 hours, he has to leave Bangalore otherwise the consequences can take his life (at least for him). He knew his life was in danger, but from whom!?

After a long unsuccessful discussion and requests, he finally decided to catch the bus – which bus? To where? Neither he knows nor does he care. All he was worried about to get out the place as soon as possible. And there he was – an unknown bus to an unknown place but outside Bangalore. His heart beats were rising faster than ever until the driver started the engine. It was 3 AM, the bus was not even packed with passengers and besides it was about to cover the most dangerous highway but Raghav was relaxed.

Everything was normal back in the morning. He woke up with the first hit of the alarm and followed his regular routine; an hour long Puja, toast at breakfast and daily dose by his boss before lunch. But a regular lunch at a regular restaurant which changed everything.

'Hey! The bill!', eating Chinese food is not that tough as much as selecting any particular item of them is. The first day I entered this restaurant, I randomly chose this very fascinating Chinese item which they call Chop suey and I call fried noodles with extra tomato sauces, some ghas-phus and a half boiled omelet at the top. Though Ravi knew that Chop suey is my regular order, but even after that he keeps on bombarding the menu over my face; maybe it's because he wants his regular customer to try something more costly. But I was barely interested in other items. Chop suey was the only food item along with which they also used to serve a cookie at the end; fortune cookie, a Chinese snack invented by an American, which on cracking you'll find a small piece of paper rolled in it, defining your fortune; the best part for me at least.

And finally, the cookie with the bill arrived. I was eager to crack it more than swallowing it. The day was not that good as I always have wished it should be, so yes, I was eager to grab a clue of my coming hours. But cracking the cookie came out to be the worst thing ever happened to me. The paper was actually not defining my complete fortune, but my death.

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! IT WILL BE YOUR LAST DAY ON EARTH, IF YOU WILL NOT LEAVE THE CITY WITHIN 12 HOURS.

I have cracked more than 300 cookies in that restaurant, but never found anything like this before and that too in bold letters. It was like it wanted me not to ignore it and neither had I wanted to ignore it. Suddenly every single cookie I cracked before started rushing into my mind just to strengthen my thought of following the cookie.

Wear red, you'll find your love - positive

Don't be in touch with someone today, you'll find the peace - positive

.....

........

..........

The scan was supporting the cookie and gradually strengthening the fear of loss of life. I threw a 500 rupee note on the table and rushed from there without the change. I was feeling a void in myself, which was enough to block all the thoughts. I should be back to the office, but I wasn't. All I was feeling was just my heart beats pumping faster than ever. The next moment I realized that I was running... running faster than ever, thrashing the traffic and the people who were enjoying their life without any fear of death... without counting their days on earth. But I! Being aware of my death, I was still numb and running unknowingly where to go and how to save my ass.

My phone was ringing since I left the restaurant, but I didn't care to even check the caller ID. Suddenly every single matter on earth became meaningless to me; family, friends, career and love. It was my life which was important for me at that moment, beneath the fact that this life was not only of mine but it also belongs to many people... people who care for me... people for whom I was everything... for whom I have said million times that I can give my life for them. But all goes in vain with the parallel realization that these are just words to say. You will run for your life, but nobody else will, when it is at risk.

I was out of my breath, but I kept on running. It was fine in the morning, then what went wrong!? Everything was going good until I saw her. I should have taken another path to the office. A glimpse of her and here I was; running for my life. Though I tried to counter her ominous peak immediately the time I saw but it failed. Her ominous glimpse not only let my boss jump over me for getting late and made me sacked but also invited the death to my table. It’s sometimes really crazy to think about such a being, that is covered with black shiny hair and have sharp grey eyes, which looks not less than any beautiful creature on earth but tagged with ominous subjects. But it was! What if nobody had ever found or (if not wrong to say) patched her with ominous creature?! I guess I would have been enjoying my work at my office, thinking about how to spend the next weekend with Romana.

But I was here holding my breath and flowing with the cowishness of the people like a paper boat flowing downstream towards the waterfall.

The streets, vehicles running on it and people walking on it were scaring me to death. I was not responding to any known person calling me from the other side of the road. I was not passing nearby street stalls because it might happen that that hot oil might spill over me, I could slip on the knife which that lady is holding to cut the guavas for her customers, that man could kill me because he got jerked by me in between the cowish, that bus running on the street can get off from there and run over me. 

I wanted to cross the road and took the shortcut to my destination but I was afraid of everything. Since an hour, I was trying to cross the road; when it was not clear and even when it was clear. But my steps were jammed at the signal. Every step I was taking... every move I was making, the only thing flashing over my mind was just that small piece of paper wrapped up in oil saying that I am going to lose myself very soon.

I was insecure with every single matter on earth because somewhere, believe it or not, every single matter on this planet can harm you at any time accidentally or deliberately; be it a human being, be it an animal or be it any subject. Plotting all those fear into my mind, I decided not to take the cab or anything to reach my destination i.e. airport and stayed on the streets towards the airport. But it was impossible to do so, as the only way to the airport was from the other side of the road.

‘Sir, help me in crossing the road. Will you?’, I asked a man standing beside me on the zebra cross with my eyes on the vehicles waiting for the signal to turn into green .My body was totally under control of fear but I knew that standing on the signal or walking towards nowhere can only lead me to lose the time and my life, so the only option left with me was to ask someone’s help in crossing the road whether I wanted to take help or not. Yes! It was not enough to win over my fear and I don’t even wanted to as I was totally convinced that it has conquered me but 15 second tranquility was enough to reach my destination on time.

The man held my hand and started crossing the road over zebra cross. Between all these situations, my eyes were still with the vehicles at the signal and the signal itself. And finally I was there… the other side of the road.

‘Thank you, sir. God bless you’, suddenly the man who helped me there instead of taking thanks, gave the same to me. The other moment I realized that the man who was holding my hand… the man who was all the way with me while crossing the road was actually with a stick and wearing black glasses and he was blind! A blind person helped me but thanked me instead, so does it mean that all the way I was helping him in crossing the road!?

Between all these situations I almost forgot that the time was slipping away from my hand and instead of thinking much over the so called thankful scene, I directly rushed to the airport.

I should have known that the airport authority will not understand my situation. But all was OK now because I was on this bus which was heading towards somewhere outside Bangalore. I was never so much relaxed before. It was a feeling of winning over death and fear. I was looking on that small piece of paper due to which the past 10 hours came out to be the worst hours of my life and smiling on it. A winning smile!

Suddenly a forceful jerk pushed me harder towards the front of the bus where immediately I grabbed a seat to lock myself from falling. I felt the speed of the bus which was increasing with every second with my heart beats. The few counted people inside the bus started falling on each other and shouting. The other moment I realized that the bus came down from the highway towards the ditch. It was the ditch which made the bus go out of control, break free and limitless. I should be in fear… panicking but I wasn’t. I was falling from one seat to other. I could see the glasses cracking up. I could feel the crushing of the bus. I could see the blood coming out of head flowing towards my chin through my nose. But all I was thinking that I ran 12 hours to save my ass and finally when I felt that I won it over the death, I was here… here going downwards with anonymous high speed with the bus. I should be safe as I was finally out of the city and that too within 12 hours! But I wasn’t. I should be in my office but I let a piece of paper to decide my fate… fate which is always unpredictable. I looked on to my right hand which was grabbing the seat and laughed at the holy and astrological rings which I was wearing on it.

Right at there I understood a very truthful thi….

“Girl, I know it’s too early to do this thing but as it says that when it’s right, it’s right. I won’t say that I’ll pull down the moon and stars for you. I won’t say that I’ll die for you because I want to live this life with you. But yes! I’ll do every possible thing which will bring a smile on your face; which will never hurt you; which will strengthen our pure relationship and that too till my last breath”.

It was dark inside the hall filled with fog on the surface and a mild romantic instrumental playing at the background, just like what I asked for to the manager of the restaurant on this valentine day. I was on my knees, proposing to her who was standing in front of me with her folded hands by her chest, in the center of the hall under the dim light on us. Though there was no need for her to say anything or give an affirmation because it was purely visible in her eyes and smile that she too loves me a lot… actually it won’t be wrong if I say that she loves me a lot.

“Yes, I love you too”, She said while holding my shoulder to make me stand on my feet and hugged tightly… tightly enough that I could feel her heartbeats in the soft silence which was thumping faster than mine. It was that, maybe because there was no fault in her love for me unlike mine for her. But I was helpless to do this to her. I was bounded to do this to myself.

More than a minute passed by and she was still under my arms like she’ll never let me go away from herself. And suddenly my phone rang up, to pick up which I tried to make myself free from her endless affection but even after that she didn’t let me go away.

“No, please. Let it be. Few more minutes… I was dying for this moment to come since I met you”, she whispered to my ears while her face resting on my shoulder, in oscillating voice. I could feel that she was crying but I said nothing. I was numb enough to not understand her feelings. My phone rang up again and I knew that this time I have to pick it up otherwise I have to face bad consequences.

“Baby, I have to take this. It’s important”, I forced and pushed her away from my arms to pick that ruthless phone which was more important than her feelings for me at that moment.

I rushed to the corridor leaving her alone in the hall to receive the call.

‘I was abou…..’ I tried to explain the reason of my late response to the call but the other guy countered in between.

‘Listen to me you asshole! Make sure you upload it by next Friday otherwise get ready to face the real me’, he threatened me. This person, who was now connected to my life, was once my well wisher (as what he used to say) but now wanted me to make profits for him. A mistake and the connection started building up with him who was leading me to nowhere but hell. I knew that what I was about to do in few days is absolutely anti social and as disgusting as he was. But I was helpless. I knew that if I won’t give him what he wants then he’ll take my life. And if I’ll do this one thing for just one time then he’ll not only spare me but also give me money. But for that I’ve to spoil someone else.

‘Sir, please! The work is almost done. You’ll get it on Friday but please be merciful to me after that’, he hung up the call as soon I finished my words.

Seven days passed by with lots of games with her feelings and here I was on Friday; Geetanjali Hotel. We were shopping in the nearest street market when it’s started raining and as per the plan, I took her to the hotel. She was all wet and so was I. I insisted her to change in here and wait for the rain to stop for which I have to take a room (which was already been booked under my name from someone else). And she agreed to that. Everything was working under the plan with her unknown from everything.

“All you need to do is switching the power button of the remote on entering the room and don’t forget to stay in focus every time’. The receptionist whispered to me as I collected the keys and the remote.

I did the same as I was asked for while entering the room. I locked the room and quietly pressed the blue button on that tiny remote which was resting in my pocket. It was the time and I was nervous. I quickly managed to check the hidden cameras’ positions and the focuses on which I should be in with her. She was standing ahead of me with her back towards my face and drying her wet hair with a towel. It was the right time for me to do the thing for which I took her to this place. Though I had touched her before, kissed her before but this time I was even nervous to look at her. I slowly put my hands over her wet shoulders which was carrying her wet and heavy clothes and looked towards her face. She turned around and gave me a mild smile which was enough for me to understand that she is ok with me getting physical with her. But there was also something as if her body was not anymore with herself. I slowly moved my hands from her shoulder to her back and made her face in front of mine. Suddenly I noticed that we’re not in focus, so I moved ahead to her by making her moving backward directly to the focus. We’re now under the focus and her face was in front of mine. We’re close enough to feel each other’s warm breath. And I put my lip over her lips. I was kissing her back to back. But she was more than numb, like she doesn’t even care what I was doing to her body. The other moment I opened my eyes, I was over her and naked. My adrenaline started rushing as fast as it could. I was totally inside her… loving her not to stop. But consciously keeping a check on being in the focus, by rolling all over the bed. The whole time her eyes were away from me unlike ever before. She never looked away from me whenever I was used to be with her but this very time, she was not with me but her body. It was a feel of loving a dead body.

Suddenly her eyes went red and ready to burst into tears and it was more than visible to understand that there is something of which she is not feeling happy.

“Baby, what happened? Are you OK? Should I stop?” I stopped there and asked her.

“You know what? I learned this very thing the time I entered the room that you’ve placed a camera behind that wasp and the wardrobe. I learned that the person whom I loved so much is going to betray me” her voice started oscillating with every word. I was surprised and ashamed. I was not even able to make eye contact with her, so I moved towards the corner of the bed and sat on it away from her with my eyes on the floor.

“I learned… that the person whose promises were nothing but just another sales speech to sale my soul and love for money. But I didn’t stop you because I wanted to see how far you can go to kill my soul. I didn’t stop you because there was no shame in you to do this kind of ru...ruthless thing to a woman who loved you so much that she was ready to SLEEP WITH YOU”, She continued and ended with a loud cry.

“But you… you complete your task. Now there is nothing in me you can destroy more. Now I am already dead. You carry on and do whatever you want. Check if we are in focus not or you want any help? TELL ME YOU FUCKER!? You want me to SMILE on it? SAY IT? SAY SOMETHING?” She burst out and started hitting my back while pulling me towards the bed.

I was ashamed enough to leave the place and die. This girl trusted me and loved me so much that she was ready to sleep with me. Me?! Who was selfishly destroying a life to save mine. Me!? Who was… or is doing a mistake to come over another mistake. I was feeling a void in myself… a void which was worst than dying. I put on my clothes, pulled out all the cameras and wiring which were hidden in there, leaving her behind crying on the bed naked and made a last call while moving out of the room.

“Hello Police station? I have something to confess”